To what questions are you looking for answers?
I want to know if the career path I am choosing to follow right now is what I am meant to do with my life. I feel like it is, but then there are days that I wonder why I am even trying so hard at all, and will college even be worth it.
For whom are you a mentor or a guide?
I feel like even though they may not want to admit it, I am a guide for my sisters. I share with them all my stories and difficulties with school and friends, and even though they may not seem to interested I feel as though they take what I have to say to heart. They are still in their early teens so it is not very "cool" to express your love or gratitude for anyone or anything; especially your bossy older sister. I really hope I am a role model for them though because I want them to come to me if they ever need help with anything in their lives, and I will always be there to assist them through the many struggles of being a teenage girl.
For whom do you seek your sage advice?
Definitely my mom. I go to her with questions about everything. She is so honest and forthcoming with everything about life and her experiences that I don't really hesitate to talk to her about anything. If she doesn't know what advice to give me or doesn't know how to go about handling a situation; she'll tell me that. She will never act like she knows something that she doesn't. I love the fact that she is so real with me and treats me not only as her daughter but as a friend.
How comfortable are you in undistracted solitude?
I love being by myself. I wish I could make myself meditate more often but it is really difficult to find the time. Sometimes when I am in a not so good mood being by myself is a little dangerous because my thoughts can pick away at me. But being alone without technology or other distractions is a good way to reflect on yourself, your thoughts and your feelings.
When do you feel the need to retreat into yourself?
When I am hurt or feel betrayed I definitely put up my walls. I do not have a problem shutting people out and never talking to them again if they spite me, which has its pros and cons of course. If I feel like someone has hurt me I definitely emotionally isolate myself. It is way too easy for me to do and has frustrated my loved ones on numerous occasions.
What activities do you most enjoy alone?
I enjoy watching TV, reading, doing my homework, driving and scrapbooking alone. I cherish my time by myself. That is one of the reasons I feel like I could never live in a dorm room. I like having my alone time too much. I use it to recharge.
What area of study completely absorbs you?
Definitely psychology. I always knew I wanted to work with children but I was not sure in which way I wanted to impact their lives. When I took my first psychology class I knew that I was meant to spiritually, mentally and emotionally heal children who are incapable of healing themselves. Learning about how the brain works and how it alters our whole being is just so fascinating to me and I do not see myself loving any subject so passionately as I do psychology.
Wheel of Fortune:
How are your actions, (or nonactions) today sowing the seeds of your future?
Just by being in college I am already cultivating a better life for myself. I am working towards a degree and and a career for myself. I am also working 30 hours a week to save money for things like a new car, repairs on my current car and a trip to Germany. I want to see the world and I am the only one who is going to make that possible for myself.
What patterns or cycles tend to repeat in your life?
I tend to get really depressed over the summer when I am not in school and solely working at my job. I feel like this is even more of a reason to get myself into a career that I enjoy and am fulfilled by.
What seems to be the "blueprint" of your life up to this point?
My blueprint has been to complete high school and go to college and get a good job. That's pretty much all that has been outlined for me. It is sort of scary having all this freedom of what I want to do with my life and that I am one of the "final" stages of my schooling
When has timing made all the difference in an outcome?
I don't think I have an exact example for this question. Maybe me skipping a grade and rushing that time has made a difference in who I am today and the fact that I am already in college but I feel like that is kind of twisting the question around a bit.
What big change would you like to see happen?
I am not usually a fan of big and drastic change. I think maybe if anything I would want to just be 18 already. I only have 2 months left of "childhood" but it has felt like a long time coming waiting to legally be able to make my own decisions, sign my own things, and buy a hamster if I want. It is really fun how I am in college but I couldn't even sign my own form for the gym. I feel like it is really backwards and doesn't make sense, but I only have 2 long months left of this confusing limbo.
To what recent change are you still trying to adapt?
I am still adapting to the fact that I am a college student. It hasn't really sunk in yet even though I am almost a month into my classes now. I think maybe because I am a commuter and not constantly on campus that it is not as much of a shock for me as it is for other students. I wish I could get myself to hang out on campus more often so I could get that "college student" feeling.
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