Questions for Reflection Part Two

The Hermit: 



To what questions are you looking for answers?
I want to know if the career path I am choosing to follow right now is what I am meant to do with my life. I feel like it is, but then there are days that I wonder why I am even trying so hard at all, and will college even be worth it.

For whom are you a mentor or a guide?
I feel like even though they may not want to admit it, I am a guide for my sisters. I share with them all my stories and difficulties with school and friends, and even though they may not seem to interested I feel as though they take what I have to say to heart. They are still in their early teens so it is not very "cool" to express your love or gratitude for anyone or anything; especially your bossy older sister. I really hope I am a role  model for them though because I want them to come to me if they ever need help with anything in their lives, and I will always be there to assist them through the many struggles of being a teenage girl.

For whom do you seek your sage advice?
Definitely my mom. I go to her with questions about everything. She is so honest and forthcoming with everything about life and her experiences that I don't really hesitate to talk to her about anything. If she doesn't know what advice to give me or doesn't know how to go about handling a situation; she'll tell me that. She will never act like she knows something that she doesn't. I love the fact that she is so real with me and treats me not only as her daughter but as a friend.

How comfortable are you in undistracted solitude?
I love being by myself. I wish I could make myself meditate more often but it is really difficult to find the time. Sometimes when I am in a not so good mood being by myself is a little dangerous because my thoughts can pick away at me. But being alone without technology or other distractions is a good way to reflect on yourself, your thoughts and your feelings.

When do you feel the need to retreat into yourself?
When I am hurt or feel betrayed I definitely put up my walls. I do not have a problem shutting people out and never talking to them again if they spite me, which has its pros and cons of course. If I feel like someone has hurt me I definitely emotionally isolate myself. It is way too easy for me to do and has frustrated my loved ones on numerous occasions.

What activities do you most enjoy alone?
I enjoy watching TV, reading, doing my homework, driving and scrapbooking alone. I cherish my time by myself. That is one of the reasons I feel like I could never live in a dorm room. I like having my alone time too much. I use it to recharge.

What area of study completely absorbs you?
Definitely psychology. I always knew I wanted to work with children but I was not sure in which way I wanted to impact their lives. When I took my first psychology class I knew that I was meant to spiritually, mentally and emotionally heal children who are incapable of healing themselves. Learning about how the brain works and how it alters our whole being is just so fascinating to me and I do not see myself loving any subject so passionately as I do psychology.


Wheel of Fortune:



How are your actions, (or nonactions) today sowing the seeds of your future?
Just by being in college I am already cultivating a better life for myself. I am working towards a degree and and a career for myself. I am also working 30 hours a week to save money for things like a new car, repairs on my current car and a trip to Germany. I want to see the world and I am the only one who is going to make that possible for myself.

What patterns or cycles tend to repeat in your life?
I tend to get really depressed over the summer when I am  not in school and solely working at my job. I feel like this is even more of a reason to get myself into a career that I enjoy and am fulfilled by.

What seems to be the "blueprint" of your life up to this point?
My blueprint has been to complete high school and go to college and get a good job. That's pretty much all that has been outlined for me. It is sort of scary having all this freedom of what I want to do with my life and that I am one of the "final" stages of my schooling

When has timing made all the difference in an outcome?
I don't think I have an exact example for this question. Maybe me skipping a grade and rushing that time has made a difference in who I am today and the fact that I am already in college but I feel like that is kind of twisting the question around a bit.

What big change would you like to see happen?
I am not usually a fan of big and drastic change. I think maybe if anything I would want to just be 18 already. I only have 2 months left of "childhood" but it has felt like a long time coming waiting to legally be able to make my own decisions, sign my own things, and buy a hamster if I want. It is really fun how I am in college but I couldn't even sign my own form for the gym. I feel like it is really backwards and doesn't make sense, but I only have 2 long months left of this confusing limbo.

To what recent change are you still trying to adapt?
I am still adapting to the fact that I am a college student. It hasn't really sunk in yet even though I am almost a month into my classes now. I think maybe because I am a commuter and not constantly on campus that it is not as much of a shock for me as it is for other students. I wish I could get myself to hang out on campus more often so I could get that "college student" feeling.

Questions for Reflection

Putting yourself in the position of "being the card" helps allow you to gain a deeper and more personal understanding of their meanings. 

The Hierophant:

What doctrine or philosophy  guides your life?

About a year ago, after I lost my grandfather, I have been very interested in spiritual teachings and practices. What I have come to find out through my studying of the "paranormal, supernatural etc." is that I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason. Even things that are painful, irritating and just flat out unbelievable. Each thing happens as a way for us to continue to grow and find our true Self. There are too many "coincidences" in this world that there is honestly no such thing. The universe was planning it out for you already based on the energy you are giving to it. 

Which of your family or religious traditions do you find most meaningful?

My family is not very religious, but I feel as though my mother, grandmother and I are very spiritual. My family is very close and we get together for every big holiday, for everyone's birthday, graduation, play, dance recital, big football game etc. I think I just cherish how easy it is for us to call one another up and plan a Sunday where we can all get together and have dinner and just talk. It is nothing extravagant or anything that involves much planning or activities; just being in one another's company is so comforting. 

At whose feet would you cherish the opportunity to sit and learn?

If I could sit with my grandfather when I was my mothers age, that would be the person I would want to learn from the most. He was so intelligent and patient and loved his job. Although I am not interested in what he did for a living, I really would want him to teach me about life and his experiences. He was a man of few words and to be able to have an extensive conversation on his beliefs and knowledge would be so incredible and note worthy. 

What is the best advice you ever gave or received?

My mother has always been there when I have had my anxiety attacks, or flipped out because I lost a hair clip, or just don't want to be on the earth at any given moment. She has always told me " do not worry so much, it's not healthy. Stop jumping to the worst conclusion first." What is the importance of this in the grand scheme of things?" I always replay this over in my head when I am about to get really worked up over something. It is not some profound wisdom that I carry with me throughout my daily life, but it definitely forces me to reflect on my emotions and reactions when I feel like the world is caving in around me (and usually it isn't because I create most of it in my head.)

What beliefs or ideas would you like to transmit to others?

I want people to know that there is always someone or something looking out for them and that they are loved more than they could possibly imagine. Everyone on earth has been born for a reason. Everyone on earth has family that has lived and died before them. They are watching us. They are guiding us. We are not the only things in existence. Energies far more divine than we are protecting us and healing us every day. You are never actually alone. There is someone or some energy that loves you and cares for you, even if you cannot see it. You are divinely loved. 

What long held beliefs or values no longer serve you?

I used to value having many friends. When I was younger, I thought the quantity of friends I had made me a better person. As a college student, I now know this is completely false. I have struggled to maintain friendships all of my life because of how strongly I put my well being before others wants and needs and that I am not afraid to speak my mind. I am now on a journey of finding a few valuable, incredible souls that are meant to be my friend on a molecular level, and will continue to be my friends well into our adult lives. 

The Emperor:

What needs to get organized in your life?

My emotions, for sure. My emotions are up and down and left and right all day every day. It is not just because I'm a hormonal teenage girl either. It's something deeper than that. I feel everything way too deeply and I wish I could separate my thoughts and feelings from other people's thoughts and feelings around me. 

When or with whom would it be useful to be more assertive?

I'd like to think of myself as a pretty assertive person, actually. Maybe with people at work who I feel are being condescending. I do not usually have trouble speaking my mind to people though. 

When or with whom are you too controlling?

My poor loving boyfriend. Oh my goodness I am a control freak. I don't tell him who he can hang out with and things like that. It's things like his driving, the way he says certain things. I force him to say bless you after I sneeze and make him help clean my car. I am very hard on him and he takes it like a champ but I really should back off of him a tad. He's so sweet and quiet it's hard for him to say no. 

Who in your life most exemplifies Emperor qualities?

I would have to say my father most exemplifies being competent, firm, rational, specific, forceful, authoritative, protective, etc. Especially with me and my sisters. He is the "man of the house" and he "works two full time jobs" (he never lets us forget"). He always wants the chores done and for us to do as we're told and not talk back. He likes things his way or no way and he always needs his ideas and opinions to be heard. 

How easy is it for you to stand up for yourself?

Extremely easy. I have always stood up for myself ever since I was younger because no one else would do it for me. I have to protect myself in order to grow up and protect others and have a family. If I feel that I am being treated unfairly I make it known. 

How easily able are you to act on your own decisions without the need of approval?

Relatively easily. The only people I seek approval from are my mom and my boyfriend. Other than that I couldn't care less about what others think of me. I do what I want because I want to do it, not because someone else thinks I should. It has been a very long time since I have actively searched for approval in others who are not my mom and my boyfriend. I feel that the people who are the most active in my life are the only one's who should have a say in what I do. 

Introduction to My Deck

I have never owned a deck of Tarot cards; and when I was required to go buy some I wanted some that were out of the norm. I understand the traditional Rider-Weight deck is the most well know and widely used. However, there are so many beautiful and interesting decks created by artists that are just waiting to become popular to the public eye. There were some mermaid decks and unicorn decks and fairy decks. All of they beautiful, mystical creatures you would expect to encounter. And then I saw the Deviant Moon deck, and I knew I needed them because of how startlingly different the images are. Many of the appear to be grotesque but are actually quite beautiful. 

The images are so unique and whimsical that it would have been difficult for me not to purchase this deck and settle for another. I love the darkness about them and how they are eerily beautiful and creepy at the same time. 

I picked from my Major Arcana cards at at random and pulled the "Strength" card. 

Pictured is a man battle with  what looks like the ancestor of an alligator mixed with that of a piranha with very long teeth. The man is blue (the coloring may be due to artist preference) and he has the fishes' mouth pried open with his hands. The man almost has his head dangling in the animals' mouth and the animal has it's long tail looped around the man's ankle. The man looks as if he is putting all of his power into holding the animal's mouth open from biting his face, and he has very large muscles straining to prove so. 

This card provides a very believable and straightforward representation of "Strength" and could be easily identified even if the card were not labeled with it's Arcana.